Bedtime with Multiple Ages

Bedtime. From little ones who need many, many sips of water to older teens who sleep all day, Melisa digs into the importance of sleep and a solid bedtime. Listen as she walks through what bedtime routines might look like for different age groups. She provides personal stories filled with humor and advice on how to handle bedtime with children of various ages.

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Topics discussed: 

- The important role dinner time plays in getting your kids to bed.

- How to be firm with bedtimes

-What the appropriate bedtimes are by age.

-How to create quality time for older kids.

-Why it’s important to wake up before your children.


Related videos:


Scroll to Read Transcripts

00:00     hi I'm Melissa Nelson let's talk about

00:02     bedtime I often get questions about that

00:05     time and how to work your bedtime

00:07     especially when you have multiple

00:08     children of all different ages so we

00:12     have five kids and when we had all five

00:14     of them at home there was an a large age

00:16     spread so like our oldest is 23 our

00:18     youngest is nine so there was always

00:20     there there was always a child in every

00:23     stage I always focused that time on the

00:26     youngest child so you might want to take

00:30     notes dinner is the runway for bedtime I

00:33     talked about this often when you're

00:36     working on your rhythm you really really

00:38     really want have this dinner part in

00:41     place so you really ideally want to have

00:44     dinner between five and six 5:30 ish is

00:48     probably best then you start this runway

00:51     for a bedtime when you have older

00:53     children

00:54     you've got to enroll them so that they

00:56     understand that you're trying to get the

00:58     little ones to bed if you have children

01:01     that are under six and they're not

01:05     napping they need to be in bed before

01:07     seven so if you're having trouble

01:10     getting kids to bed you really need to

01:13     ask yourself how I miss the sleep window

01:14     we have other videos on sleep so I'd

01:17     like for you to go and watch those

01:19     before asking any questions

01:21     just because it may answer those

01:23     questions so check out our other Monday

01:24     videos on sleep

01:25     really and truly when you have children

01:28     of varying age groups and you're trying

01:31     to meet them all you want to like I said

01:35     look at the youngest child first then I

01:37     would say anywhere for between seven and

01:39     nine they need to be in bed by 7:30 our

01:43     daughter just turned nine we're allowing

01:46     her to stay up until 8:00 but you want

01:49     to have that anchor you want to have

01:50     that anchor and and let children know

01:52     when you get to be that age then you'll

01:54     get to stay up to when-when-when

01:56     you know they were younger they didn't

01:59     get to stay up so this is just how it

02:01     goes when you are firm in your boundary

02:05     they don't generally argue but when

02:07     you're wishy-washy they will every time

02:10     so don't be wishy-washy know what your

02:12     boundary is that doesn't mean you don't

02:14     sometimes stay up late and watch you

02:17     know the moon come out or you know go do

02:21     something fun late at night that doesn't

02:23     mean you don't ever do that but it means

02:25     you don't do that every night it means

02:27     that for the most part you understand

02:30     what's going on and you know when

02:32     bedtime is if you don't know they're not

02:34     gonna know when bedtime is

02:35     so you've got to really sort of you know

02:37     anchor that and and and everybody sort

02:40     of needs to know when it comes to older

02:43     kids like say 9 to 11 or 9 to 12 you

02:46     know I definitely will let them stay up

02:48     until 8:30 sometimes nine but here's the

02:51     thing I get up at 5:00 so I'm done with

02:54     the day come about 8:30 at night when we

02:57     have laid office hours Oh Mike oh my

03:00     goodness you guys I gotta go to bed so I

03:03     really try to keep hours so that I can

03:07     shut down my life come 8:30 so I'm not I

03:11     don't have to think after that any time

03:15     that I've gotten up really early like I

03:17     usually do and I kid myself that I'm

03:19     going to answer emails after everybody

03:21     goes to bed and never happens because

03:22     I'm exhausted and I don't want to give

03:26     that exhausted peace to people that I'm

03:28     emailing so I will usually wait till the

03:30     next morning but I bring that up because

03:32     if you have older kids that are then

03:35     going to want to stay up later you want

03:37     to sort of have boundaries there so my

03:39     kids know that dad's the one that stays

03:42     up generally he you know he gets up at

03:44     5:00 with me he likes less sleep I guess

03:47     but he's usually in bed by 9:30 or 10:00

03:50     these days most days during the

03:54     quarantine I have to tell you it's been

03:55     a little bit harder for him because he

03:56     has

03:57     space of wanting to have that alone time

03:59     which I know is is very important and

04:04     and so I know a lot of you will take

04:06     that alone time at night I'm going to

04:09     challenge you though to try to get it in

04:10     the morning when you're fresh because

04:13     you can get so much more done when you

04:15     get up before your kids so when our kids

04:18     are you know staying up a little bit

04:21     later they know that mom's still going

04:22     to bed a couple of times a week I will

04:25     say up with my almost 14 year old and

04:28     here now I want to show together and and

04:31     that's you know we connect that way or

04:33     we'll play a board game or just sit and

04:35     talk because they do want to have that

04:37     connection time with my big kids so I

04:38     want to have that connection with all of

04:39     our kids but truly when the little ones

04:41     go to sleep then the big ones are sort

04:44     of ready to chat with us and there's

04:46     something about night time where they've

04:49     relaxed from the day a bit and it's just

04:51     like their mind starts to unravel and

04:53     they want to just talk talk talk so if

04:55     they know that you're there it doesn't

04:57     have to be every night but a couple of

04:59     times a week just for them it's so so

05:02     helpful so you get this younger ones to

05:03     bed I even send salmon sorry are still

05:06     sharing a room right now we're getting

05:07     ready to move so that won't be the

05:10     reality after we move but he goes into

05:12     the bed in the bedroom with her and

05:13     he'll read while she goes to sleep and

05:16     then he gets up after that because that

05:18     sort of helps her stay anchored and

05:19     helps her stay in bed again it's gonna

05:22     be interesting once we move but we'll

05:23     figure something out I'll have something

05:25     else to teach you guys but truly putting

05:28     them all to bed at the same time and

05:29     then letting them get up or having the

05:31     older children be completely out of the

05:34     bedroom while you're putting the younger

05:35     ones to bed is super helpful often what

05:37     I'll do is or what I have done in the

05:40     past is when I put that child to bed so

05:42     that they're not a boomerang

05:44     that can happen they'll have 14 glasses

05:47     of water

05:47     I go Alyssa's last glass of water you're

05:49     going to get in bed I will either sit at

05:51     the foot of their bed or in the doorway

05:53     and I'll knit you know answer some

05:56     emails maybe read a book something so

05:59     that I am anchored right there in that

06:00     space they know I'm there and they can

06:02     go to sleep and it's it's then not

06:05     stressful for them because

06:06     want to be with people when they're

06:07     sleeping just like most of us do so I

06:10     hope that's helpful I know that often

06:12     having multiple age groups in your home

06:15     sort of feels really difficult but

06:18     really ask yourself what each one of

06:20     them needs they have different needs

06:22     they all need sleep so even my big kids

06:26     even my teenagers they're always in bed

06:29     before 10:00 and I sort of joked this

06:32     morning in our planning for Pete's call

06:34     I said you know I let them choose when

06:37     they go to bed but I choose when they

06:38     get up and I do that's it's not a joke

06:42     I'll say I want you in bed by 10:00 if

06:45     they choose to stay awake till 10:30 or

06:47     11 that's on them they're still getting

06:49     up when I get them up and I feel really

06:52     firmly about that I know we sort of live

06:54     in a culture that's like oh well

06:56     teenagers should just sleep whatever

06:58     they need to get they need to make good

07:01     habits for later in life and the

07:03     teenagers especially they need to have

07:06     those good happen so you want to instill

07:08     those habits and then when they're young

07:09     so they can continue them as they grow

07:12     you don't want a child that doesn't know

07:15     how to get up before 11 o'clock all of a

07:17     sudden has it has to be at work at 8

07:19     a.m. and doesn't know how to do it and

07:20     struggles so that's that's part of your

07:23     stewardship is teaching them that there

07:25     are times to sleep in and types of not

07:27     just man we never sleep in that it

07:29     definitely means that that's not the

07:30     mainstay how we do things so I hope that

07:34     was helpful if you have any questions

07:35     feel free to drop us a note and we all

07:37     see you next week

English (auto-generated)    



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