Ep. 165 - Rhythm is Internal

In the video below, Melisa explains how rhythm is not simply something that exists outside of yourself but is an internal and integral part of you. She walks you through the importance of tracking your actual rhythm, how to hone it, and how your rhythm can affect your family's rhythm. 

Below you'll find all the resources you'll need to harness your rhythm and some examples of rhythm charts to help you get started!  


Watch Video Here:

Related Videos:

Rhythm with Virtual Life - https://youtu.be/KF7Uw9eaBVw 

My Secret to Rhythm - https://youtu.be/2h4nYmbXG_4  

How to Get Better Sleep - https://youtu.be/Y572BgjedtE 


Listen To Podcast Here: 

Related Episodes:

Ep. 85 - https://www.spreaker.com/episode/18356627 

Ep. 191 - https://www.spreaker.com/episode/42007879 


Scroll To Read Transcripts:

00:02     hi there I'm almost no Southwold of

00:04     essentials and today we're going to talk

00:07     about rhythm now I talk about rhythm a

00:10     lot if you go back through our Monday

00:12     videos you'll see that I talked about it

00:14     fairly regularly I talked about it in

00:17     our thinking feeling willing program in

00:18     fact it's the very first lesson and

00:20     thank you feeling willing and the reason

00:22     being is it's very much just about you

00:26     it's about sort of how you approach

00:29     things and sort of then how you run your

00:33     life and I wanted to talk about a

00:36     specific aspect of rhythm today one of

00:39     the things that I hear a lot is and it's

00:42     usually moms that are newer to Waldorf

00:44     and so I'm absolutely not criticizing I

00:48     just want you to get this piece that I'm

00:51     going to talk about today so I hear it

00:54     um often referred to as the rhythm like

00:58     it's the dog or the car or something

01:02     else that doesn't actually belong to you

01:05     and it's not something that lives in you

01:08     and I really want you to know that

01:12     rhythm absolutely lives in you it's part

01:15     of you like if you put your hand over

01:16     your heart right now just do it to do

01:19     your heart beating that's rhythm and you

01:24     feel the long the air in your lungs and

01:26     your breathing in and out that's for

01:28     them so rhythm is something that is

01:30     attached to you it lives in you and that

01:36     what's funny is that our conscious and

01:39     our subconscious brains actually shy

01:42     away from her them not because we don't

01:45     need it because look all around you

01:46     rhythm is everywhere it's in the seasons

01:48     it's in the way the planets move it's in

01:51     the tides it's in your heart beat so

01:54     rhythm is not an external it's an

01:56     internal but it's about adjusting that

01:59     internal clock so that you are

02:02     absolutely dialed in to what it needs to

02:08     be for you and your family

02:09     so when you're looking at rhythm for you

02:12     and your family if you are looking just

02:14     sort of organically even if you haven't

02:16     worked to tame your rhythm or anything

02:19     you can see a natural breathing in and

02:21     breathing out so often I will say when

02:25     people come to me and say I'm either

02:26     them was a big mess and I always have

02:28     you keep an actual rhythm chart in fact

02:30     there's a video the Monday video is

02:32     called Melissa's secret or my secret to

02:34     rhythm and that's what it's all about

02:37     it's about understanding what your

02:39     actual rhythm is so that's not the one

02:42     that you think that's pretty on the wall

02:43     or the one that's in your head that

02:45     you'd really like or that pretty one on

02:46     Pinterest it's what you actually do so

02:49     if you actually generally tend to go to

02:52     bed late and get up early write that

02:54     down or go to bed late and get up late

02:56     write that down if you tend to not have

02:59     a menu because you don't like to like

03:02     plan out what's you're eating and you

03:04     like having the chaos in your house you

03:06     need to write all those things down so

03:07     when you do this actual rhythm chart we

03:10     have you go through a full week and

03:11     write down everything and if you would

03:14     like to try this you want to hop over to

03:16     our resources page and you can grab an

03:19     actual rhythm chart there and chart it

03:21     for yourself but I start there I start

03:24     with actually understanding what is it

03:26     that I really do what do what do I do

03:29     because it's again it's not an external

03:30     it's not like the dog you walk it's not

03:32     like the car you drive in it's not the

03:34     rhythm its rhythm it's your body's or

03:37     them it's your your family is rhythm

03:40     it's is breathing in and breathing out

03:42     every day and it becomes part of you and

03:45     once you own it and you decide hey it is

03:50     mine it is mine and I own it and I am

03:54     willing to harness it the same way you

03:57     would harness what you eat the exercise

04:01     you get the sleep you should get all of

04:04     those things it's exactly the same it's

04:07     no different than changing a habit so

04:12     you're you're sort of honing those

04:14     habits and yes it can be difficult to

04:16     hone habits when you have you know four

04:19     people in your family six people in your

04:21     family

04:21     seven people in your family that

04:23     so we had we had five kids at home it

04:25     can be difficult or it feels like an

04:27     insurmountable task so you have to start

04:29     with you where them is tied to you your

04:31     family rhythm is then carried by you at

04:34     first you have to get yourself in order

04:36     and by getting yourself in order you

04:38     don't go around and you tell everybody

04:39     what they're doing wrong you do that

04:41     your actual rhythm chart and then you

04:43     look at it and you go oh man I didn't go

04:45     to bed so I get out now why should you

04:48     go to bed so you can get up you know I

04:49     have mom say to me all the time I just

04:51     you know I kept my second wind at night

04:53     even I have all this time and it feels

04:55     so good to have the quiet house I get

04:58     that but I want you to hear me it's not

05:01     your kids fault that you don't go to bed

05:02     on time so when you're in a bad mood the

05:05     next day because you only slept for four

05:07     hours or five hours it's not their fault

05:09     so you're not allowed to be mad at them

05:10     you know I'd like to be short with them

05:12     you have to show up as a nice mom even

05:15     if you're not getting enough sleep so I

05:18     want you to let that sit for a minute

05:19     because if you are robbing yourself and

05:22     your children of how you could show up

05:25     by staying up too late then you're doing

05:28     yourself a disservice and your family to

05:30     service I know that stings you like

05:32     Melissa I'm swiping away but I want you

05:34     to hear me even though it hurts when we

05:38     have to change habits is a choice for

05:40     the better so change the habit and that

05:43     doesn't mean oh no now you just have to

05:45     change it today and you've got to go to

05:47     bed and get up at or you know crack it

05:49     on no what I want you to do is look at

05:51     the actual rhythm chart in that actual

05:54     rhythm turn if you have children that

05:56     don't naturally get up until 8:00 then

05:58     you just seem to get up before them and

06:00     that might be a seven so if you go to

06:02     bed at 10:00 or 11:00 and you're getting

06:04     up at 7 that's a good time but if you

06:06     have kids that get up at 6 or at 7 then

06:10     you need to go to bed at 8 or 9 like

06:13     right around the time they do so that

06:14     you can get the sleep you need and get

06:16     it before them why do you need to get up

06:18     before them

06:19     well I don't know do you like being shot

06:21     out of a cannon every morning because I

06:22     sure don't I don't like to be like woken

06:25     up by being poked in the eyes and and

06:27     all of those things that children love

06:28     to do on the China Waqf you've totally

06:30     been there and so you really want to be

06:33     fresh and ready for the day you want to

06:35     be able to go potty by your

06:36     you know if you drink coffee get up and

06:38     drink and get your cup of coffee or get

06:39     your cup of tea get a drink of water in

06:42     the morning just sort of breathe out and

06:43     go whoo how do I want to show up today

06:45     ask yourself how do I want to show up

06:47     today and then once you've got that like

06:49     I closed my eyes and I get myself in a

06:51     good place put my left hand over my

06:53     heart because that goes right to my

06:55     heart and I ask myself how do I want to

06:57     show up today Melissa what things do you

07:00     want to bring to the world today what

07:01     things do you want to make sure you

07:02     don't do and so once I have those things

07:05     and I and I get the opportunity then to

07:08     think to myself okay

07:09     what are the things I'm trying to

07:10     manifest into my life and how do i how

07:12     do I want to feel about those things you

07:14     can't get really excited and get good

07:15     momentum behind that I can't do that if

07:17     somebody's climbing on my last nerve

07:18     already at seven o'clock in the morning

07:20     so neither can you

07:22     and so hear my advice go to bed and get

07:26     up before your kids and get that rhythm

07:28     wrangled and remember it's not an

07:31     external it's yours it's an internal

07:34     once you own it once you own it and you

07:38     hone it then you can make anything

07:41     happen you can really and truly you know

07:45     you can you can bring them all in and

07:47     they'll follow you but they're waiting

07:50     for you to leave them you're the captain

07:52     of the ship and you and your husband are

07:54     co-captains often but if you and your

07:56     partner can't get on the same page with

07:58     rhythm start with yourself first

08:01     get yours wrinkled you can say honey I

08:04     love you and I want to stay up with you

08:05     tonight but I don't want to be a mean

08:07     person to mine tomorrow and I will be if

08:09     I don't get my sleep so you're welcome

08:11     to come to bed with me

08:12     and we get up early in the morning

08:13     before those kids get up and a half time

08:15     alone or I'll just see you tomorrow I

08:18     love you

08:18     give me a kiss go to bed get the rest

08:23     you need remember rhythm belongs to you

08:26     you own it it lives inside you it's not

08:30     an external it's not like the car or the

08:33     dog or the sidewalk it's not that rhythm

08:36     it's your mother owned it


Actual Rhythm Chart: click here

Free Resources: click here

Planning for Peace: click here

Some Examples From Our Team 

by Melisa 

by Lennon

by Taylor

by Melisa

by Melisa

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