In the video below, Melisa explains how rhythm is not simply something that exists outside of yourself but is an internal and integral part of you. She walks you through the importance of tracking your actual rhythm, how to hone it, and how your rhythm can affect your family's rhythm.
Below you'll find all the resources you'll need to harness your rhythm and some examples of rhythm charts to help you get started!
Related Videos:
Rhythm with Virtual Life - https://youtu.be/KF7Uw9eaBVw
My Secret to Rhythm - https://youtu.be/2h4nYmbXG_4
How to Get Better Sleep - https://youtu.be/Y572BgjedtE
Related Episodes:
Ep. 85 - https://www.spreaker.com/episode/18356627
Ep. 191 - https://www.spreaker.com/episode/42007879
00:02 hi there I'm almost no Southwold of
00:04 essentials and today we're going to talk
00:07 about rhythm now I talk about rhythm a
00:10 lot if you go back through our Monday
00:12 videos you'll see that I talked about it
00:14 fairly regularly I talked about it in
00:17 our thinking feeling willing program in
00:18 fact it's the very first lesson and
00:20 thank you feeling willing and the reason
00:22 being is it's very much just about you
00:26 it's about sort of how you approach
00:29 things and sort of then how you run your
00:33 life and I wanted to talk about a
00:36 specific aspect of rhythm today one of
00:39 the things that I hear a lot is and it's
00:42 usually moms that are newer to Waldorf
00:44 and so I'm absolutely not criticizing I
00:48 just want you to get this piece that I'm
00:51 going to talk about today so I hear it
00:54 um often referred to as the rhythm like
00:58 it's the dog or the car or something
01:02 else that doesn't actually belong to you
01:05 and it's not something that lives in you
01:08 and I really want you to know that
01:12 rhythm absolutely lives in you it's part
01:15 of you like if you put your hand over
01:16 your heart right now just do it to do
01:19 your heart beating that's rhythm and you
01:24 feel the long the air in your lungs and
01:26 your breathing in and out that's for
01:28 them so rhythm is something that is
01:30 attached to you it lives in you and that
01:36 what's funny is that our conscious and
01:39 our subconscious brains actually shy
01:42 away from her them not because we don't
01:45 need it because look all around you
01:46 rhythm is everywhere it's in the seasons
01:48 it's in the way the planets move it's in
01:51 the tides it's in your heart beat so
01:54 rhythm is not an external it's an
01:56 internal but it's about adjusting that
01:59 internal clock so that you are
02:02 absolutely dialed in to what it needs to
02:08 be for you and your family
02:09 so when you're looking at rhythm for you
02:12 and your family if you are looking just
02:14 sort of organically even if you haven't
02:16 worked to tame your rhythm or anything
02:19 you can see a natural breathing in and
02:21 breathing out so often I will say when
02:25 people come to me and say I'm either
02:26 them was a big mess and I always have
02:28 you keep an actual rhythm chart in fact
02:30 there's a video the Monday video is
02:32 called Melissa's secret or my secret to
02:34 rhythm and that's what it's all about
02:37 it's about understanding what your
02:39 actual rhythm is so that's not the one
02:42 that you think that's pretty on the wall
02:43 or the one that's in your head that
02:45 you'd really like or that pretty one on
02:46 Pinterest it's what you actually do so
02:49 if you actually generally tend to go to
02:52 bed late and get up early write that
02:54 down or go to bed late and get up late
02:56 write that down if you tend to not have
02:59 a menu because you don't like to like
03:02 plan out what's you're eating and you
03:04 like having the chaos in your house you
03:06 need to write all those things down so
03:07 when you do this actual rhythm chart we
03:10 have you go through a full week and
03:11 write down everything and if you would
03:14 like to try this you want to hop over to
03:16 our resources page and you can grab an
03:19 actual rhythm chart there and chart it
03:21 for yourself but I start there I start
03:24 with actually understanding what is it
03:26 that I really do what do what do I do
03:29 because it's again it's not an external
03:30 it's not like the dog you walk it's not
03:32 like the car you drive in it's not the
03:34 rhythm its rhythm it's your body's or
03:37 them it's your your family is rhythm
03:40 it's is breathing in and breathing out
03:42 every day and it becomes part of you and
03:45 once you own it and you decide hey it is
03:50 mine it is mine and I own it and I am
03:54 willing to harness it the same way you
03:57 would harness what you eat the exercise
04:01 you get the sleep you should get all of
04:04 those things it's exactly the same it's
04:07 no different than changing a habit so
04:12 you're you're sort of honing those
04:14 habits and yes it can be difficult to
04:16 hone habits when you have you know four
04:19 people in your family six people in your
04:21 family
04:21 seven people in your family that
04:23 so we had we had five kids at home it
04:25 can be difficult or it feels like an
04:27 insurmountable task so you have to start
04:29 with you where them is tied to you your
04:31 family rhythm is then carried by you at
04:34 first you have to get yourself in order
04:36 and by getting yourself in order you
04:38 don't go around and you tell everybody
04:39 what they're doing wrong you do that
04:41 your actual rhythm chart and then you
04:43 look at it and you go oh man I didn't go
04:45 to bed so I get out now why should you
04:48 go to bed so you can get up you know I
04:49 have mom say to me all the time I just
04:51 you know I kept my second wind at night
04:53 even I have all this time and it feels
04:55 so good to have the quiet house I get
04:58 that but I want you to hear me it's not
05:01 your kids fault that you don't go to bed
05:02 on time so when you're in a bad mood the
05:05 next day because you only slept for four
05:07 hours or five hours it's not their fault
05:09 so you're not allowed to be mad at them
05:10 you know I'd like to be short with them
05:12 you have to show up as a nice mom even
05:15 if you're not getting enough sleep so I
05:18 want you to let that sit for a minute
05:19 because if you are robbing yourself and
05:22 your children of how you could show up
05:25 by staying up too late then you're doing
05:28 yourself a disservice and your family to
05:30 service I know that stings you like
05:32 Melissa I'm swiping away but I want you
05:34 to hear me even though it hurts when we
05:38 have to change habits is a choice for
05:40 the better so change the habit and that
05:43 doesn't mean oh no now you just have to
05:45 change it today and you've got to go to
05:47 bed and get up at or you know crack it
05:49 on no what I want you to do is look at
05:51 the actual rhythm chart in that actual
05:54 rhythm turn if you have children that
05:56 don't naturally get up until 8:00 then
05:58 you just seem to get up before them and
06:00 that might be a seven so if you go to
06:02 bed at 10:00 or 11:00 and you're getting
06:04 up at 7 that's a good time but if you
06:06 have kids that get up at 6 or at 7 then
06:10 you need to go to bed at 8 or 9 like
06:13 right around the time they do so that
06:14 you can get the sleep you need and get
06:16 it before them why do you need to get up
06:18 before them
06:19 well I don't know do you like being shot
06:21 out of a cannon every morning because I
06:22 sure don't I don't like to be like woken
06:25 up by being poked in the eyes and and
06:27 all of those things that children love
06:28 to do on the China Waqf you've totally
06:30 been there and so you really want to be
06:33 fresh and ready for the day you want to
06:35 be able to go potty by your
06:36 you know if you drink coffee get up and
06:38 drink and get your cup of coffee or get
06:39 your cup of tea get a drink of water in
06:42 the morning just sort of breathe out and
06:43 go whoo how do I want to show up today
06:45 ask yourself how do I want to show up
06:47 today and then once you've got that like
06:49 I closed my eyes and I get myself in a
06:51 good place put my left hand over my
06:53 heart because that goes right to my
06:55 heart and I ask myself how do I want to
06:57 show up today Melissa what things do you
07:00 want to bring to the world today what
07:01 things do you want to make sure you
07:02 don't do and so once I have those things
07:05 and I and I get the opportunity then to
07:08 think to myself okay
07:09 what are the things I'm trying to
07:10 manifest into my life and how do i how
07:12 do I want to feel about those things you
07:14 can't get really excited and get good
07:15 momentum behind that I can't do that if
07:17 somebody's climbing on my last nerve
07:18 already at seven o'clock in the morning
07:20 so neither can you
07:22 and so hear my advice go to bed and get
07:26 up before your kids and get that rhythm
07:28 wrangled and remember it's not an
07:31 external it's yours it's an internal
07:34 once you own it once you own it and you
07:38 hone it then you can make anything
07:41 happen you can really and truly you know
07:45 you can you can bring them all in and
07:47 they'll follow you but they're waiting
07:50 for you to leave them you're the captain
07:52 of the ship and you and your husband are
07:54 co-captains often but if you and your
07:56 partner can't get on the same page with
07:58 rhythm start with yourself first
08:01 get yours wrinkled you can say honey I
08:04 love you and I want to stay up with you
08:05 tonight but I don't want to be a mean
08:07 person to mine tomorrow and I will be if
08:09 I don't get my sleep so you're welcome
08:11 to come to bed with me
08:12 and we get up early in the morning
08:13 before those kids get up and a half time
08:15 alone or I'll just see you tomorrow I
08:18 love you
08:18 give me a kiss go to bed get the rest
08:23 you need remember rhythm belongs to you
08:26 you own it it lives inside you it's not
08:30 an external it's not like the car or the
08:33 dog or the sidewalk it's not that rhythm
08:36 it's your mother owned it
Actual Rhythm Chart: click here
Free Resources: click here
Planning for Peace: click here
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