As parents and caregivers, we know how vital sleep is to children. But it's also important that we get enough sleep ourselves. We cannot show up as the best versions of ourselves if we aren't getting enough sleep. Below you will find various resources to help you curate good sleep; starting with planning out dinner.
Related videos:
00:01 hi there i'm melissa nielsen
00:03 today we're going to talk about sleep
00:05 now i've done other videos on sleep so
00:07 this is probably not going to be
00:08 anything new
00:09 that you're hearing but maybe you've
00:11 heard it a different way and maybe that
00:13 will help
00:14 um i am if you know me you followed me
00:17 for a while you know i'm a huge
00:18 proponent of sleep
00:19 i'm a huge proponent of you getting
00:20 enough sleep your children get enough
00:22 sleep your partner getting enough sleep
00:24 sleep makes the world go around it makes
00:26 you feel so much better
00:27 and you know recently i've been like
00:29 trying to hack my sleep even more
00:31 because
00:32 i want even better sleep because i want
00:34 to be able to run
00:35 every day and get all of not like
00:37 physically around but like run
00:39 run our company like run and yeah i
00:41 guess physically run too
00:42 but there are things that you can do to
00:44 to hack your sleep here and there
00:46 but truly not until you can get to a
00:49 place of
00:50 actually getting to bed and having a
00:51 sleep so i want to just talk about that
00:54 space
00:55 um you know we talk often about how to
00:58 get your kids to bed
00:59 um runway for bedtime is dinner
01:03 and like knowing all those pieces
01:05 because bedtime really doesn't start
01:06 when you go upstairs and put in your pjs
01:09 no bedtime starts at dinner so
01:12 we talk about like sort of step stepping
01:14 that back
01:15 and if you're one of our thinking
01:17 feeling willing members and you're
01:19 struggling with sleep
01:20 please come to office hours come and
01:22 talk to us about
01:23 your sleep struggles because i want to
01:24 help you that's what we do
01:26 if you are not a thinking feeling
01:27 willing member but you want to become
01:29 one
01:29 it's really easy thinking
01:31 feelingwelling.com or you can hop over
01:33 to waldorf essentials.com
01:35 if you're not a homeschooler and you are
01:38 listening to us
01:39 and in from another capacity um
01:42 then you are welcome to try our parents
01:45 in sync program we talk a lot about
01:47 sleep there as well
01:48 so lots of places we can talk about
01:50 sleep sleep is vitally
01:52 important it is really what
01:55 helps you show up every day now i'm
01:58 going to talk about a couple of
02:00 different stages of sleep and as far as
02:02 like where you are in your parenting so
02:04 you know early childhood is exhausting
02:07 i'm not going to lie
02:08 it's exhausting but i learned early on
02:11 that if i had if i co-slept then i could
02:14 get more sleep
02:16 that was that that was a trail that
02:17 worked for us we co-slept
02:19 we had five children we co-slept with
02:20 all of them and um
02:22 it was something that was super helpful
02:25 now it's interesting because i co-slept
02:26 with children with my ex-husband
02:28 and then i cuss up with children with
02:29 eric and
02:31 it was very new to eric you know we got
02:33 married and he was um we
02:35 were 32 and um
02:38 he'd never slept with a child before he
02:40 never had a child in the bed and so that
02:41 was that was new
02:43 um when super sam was born and so but
02:46 what's interesting is just how much
02:48 sleep we were able to get because of it
02:50 so i know that there are extenuating
02:52 circumstances for some families maybe
02:54 your child's got reflex and you have to
02:55 sit up to nurse or
02:56 you know there are other things but what
02:58 i want to tell you like really when i
03:00 want to get across
03:01 is this that point it's not forever it's
03:03 not forever
03:04 so what you have to do like the the
03:07 trick is when you're in those years is
03:09 to not
03:10 make those things habits so the the
03:13 struggles
03:14 you work through the struggle so when
03:16 parents say to me i have a child that
03:17 sleeps they have reflex and i go okay
03:19 what are you doing for the reflex well
03:20 nothing
03:21 no no no what are you doing for the
03:23 reflex have you been to the chiropractor
03:25 you talked to your pediatrician like
03:27 what are you doing are you
03:28 changing what you're eating like what
03:30 are the things that you're doing so
03:31 be proactive about this sleep thing
03:34 because it is vitally important the
03:37 sleep habits that you help a child form
03:39 will be the sleep habits that they have
03:41 when they're in their 40s
03:43 because it's really hard in 50s and
03:45 beyond
03:46 it's really hard to change sleep habits
03:48 once they've been set
03:49 if you're somebody who had sleep
03:50 struggles as a child and your parent
03:52 didn't help you sort of get through that
03:53 space
03:54 you're probably knowing what i'm saying
03:56 and you're like yes i have a dear friend
03:58 love her to pieces she is a mom of
04:02 three very busy young children and she's
04:05 a single mom
04:06 and she's had a struggle with insomnia
04:08 like her whole life
04:10 and she said she can count on one hand
04:12 the times that she slept eight hours
04:14 in a stretch and so that's like she's
04:17 continually trying to hack that space
04:19 continually trying to figure that out
04:21 because it should be a continual process
04:24 if you are struggling with that we want
04:26 to get you to a place where you have
04:27 restorative sleep
04:29 is not just about the space of being
04:32 able to be
04:33 present and show up but it's also about
04:35 your body and your health
04:37 so we know that the heart and the brain
04:39 do not function well
04:41 and are really struggling when you have
04:44 those issues when you're not sleeping
04:46 well
04:46 so i had a stroke six years ago and the
04:49 thing that like
04:50 tipped it over the edge was the fact
04:51 that i couldn't sleep
04:53 and there was probably a week where i
04:55 may have slept two hours total
04:57 and that was the week right before my
04:59 stroke and it landed me in the hospital
05:01 and then i slept for 30 hours without
05:03 waking up
05:04 i thought i was in a coma at first but
05:06 it wasn't i was just sleeping
05:09 everybody was worried about that i just
05:11 slept i slept for 30 hours straight
05:13 they did all these tests and i was
05:14 asleep the whole time so
05:17 you want to not do that you want to not
05:19 be in that space so what i want you to
05:21 know
05:21 is if you are struggling with sleep
05:23 right now what are you doing about it
05:25 does it matter mom or dad doesn't matter
05:27 which parent is watching this
05:29 what are you doing about your sleep
05:30 circles so if you're somebody who has
05:33 maybe your dad listening and you're like
05:34 well i've got i'm working shift work or
05:37 mom won't listening you're
05:38 working shift work and you're you're
05:39 only you know you're only home for
05:41 like a set time you've got to make sleep
05:44 your priority
05:45 so um you know one thing that i i say
05:48 and i'm pretty
05:49 tight about this your kids didn't ask to
05:52 be born into
05:53 into that situation so you have to make
05:56 it so that it works for your kids
05:58 so don't have yours your work time alter
06:01 their sleep time
06:03 because they really need it they really
06:04 need it a couple years ago i was
06:06 teaching at a conference and i had a mom
06:08 that said to me
06:10 and i'm not it's not always popular when
06:12 we have this discussion and it's totally
06:13 fine to disagree with me
06:15 it's fine i'm big girl i don't have to
06:17 have everybody agree with me
06:18 but i know what i'm saying here is right
06:21 she said to me she said i'm working
06:24 shift work my husband's working shift
06:25 work we're keeping the kids up so that
06:27 we can spend time with them i said stop
06:28 that
06:29 shame on you because the children need
06:31 their sleep
06:32 they didn't ask to be born into that and
06:34 what i i was a
06:36 conference i was teaching in northern
06:37 california she's like well this is what
06:38 i have to do to make ends meet i said i
06:39 get that
06:40 i get that and i understand that and i
06:42 honor that
06:44 but your kids don't need to be that they
06:46 didn't ask to be born
06:48 into that space so instead what you do
06:50 is you find
06:51 ways to keep their sleep sacred and also
06:54 get your sleep
06:55 and then have that family time on those
06:57 days off um you know
06:59 it's against a lot of work seven days a
07:00 week unless you're doing two different
07:02 jobs
07:03 so on those days off that's when you
07:05 like capitalize on that family time
07:07 the rest of the time you honor sleep so
07:10 honoring sleep will help you so so so
07:12 much
07:13 i know children that struggle with
07:14 school whether it be
07:16 reading struggles mathematics struggles
07:18 or just sitting still
07:19 it's worse when they're not sleeping
07:21 right so if you've got a child that's
07:22 got behavioral issues i want you to ask
07:24 yourself
07:25 are they sleeping enough so i'm going to
07:26 read you these guidelines these are from
07:28 the
07:28 sleep foundation it was a national sleep
07:32 foundation study
07:33 done in 2015 and i'm happy to link it
07:35 just let me know i'm happy to give you
07:37 the link to it i thought it was
07:38 really really interesting they changed a
07:40 few things but like really and truly
07:43 these
07:43 are the numbers the numbers right so
07:47 um newborn so that's zero to three
07:49 months
07:50 the the recommended is 14 to 17 hours
07:53 the
07:53 um it may be appropriate for it to be as
07:56 little as 11
07:58 and as much as 19 may be appropriate
08:01 but generally 14 to 17 hours infants
08:04 so 4 months to 11 months 12 to 15 hours
08:09 so it might be as appropriate to have as
08:11 little as 10
08:12 and as many as 18 but somewhere in
08:14 between there
08:15 toddlers so one and two-year-olds and
08:18 these are the ones that are like
08:20 they want to snuggle with you to go to
08:22 bed and then they want to nurse like 15
08:24 minutes
08:25 on and off all night long so i
08:28 i extended nursed all my kids but there
08:31 was a time where i was like nope no more
08:33 babies at night
08:34 because you need sleep and so do they
08:36 and it keeps them up and if they're
08:38 waking up for that it's not for
08:39 nutrition when they're a toddler
08:41 so toddlers 11 hours to 14 hours is
08:44 what's
08:44 recommended it says maybe appropriate
08:47 for as little as nine
08:49 and as many as 16. i would say nine is
08:52 not
08:53 enough for a toddler that's my
08:55 professional opinion
08:56 preschooler so it's the ages three to
08:58 five anywhere from
09:00 10 to 13 hours is what's recommended and
09:03 it says
09:04 9 hours to 14 hours could be or would
09:07 also
09:08 perhaps be appropriate for your child
09:10 school-age children
09:11 um which would be ages 6-13 would be 9
09:15 to 11 hours
09:16 and that's pretty i see that pretty
09:18 succinctly with
09:19 with my own children um right now it
09:22 says
09:23 maybe maybe um appropriate to have eight
09:26 to twelve hours like
09:27 that would be their gap um teenagers and
09:30 i think this is so interesting
09:32 um so teenagers being 14 to 17 years old
09:35 would be 10 or 8 to 10 hours as little
09:38 as 7
09:39 and as much as 11 would be their would
09:42 be their um
09:43 their window so not more than that so
09:45 yes we know that teenagers need more
09:46 sleep
09:47 they need as much sleep as these younger
09:49 children
09:50 um not as much as a newborn though
09:54 and so much happens when you can provide
09:56 a
09:57 an appropriate bedtime routine so that
09:59 everybody's on
10:00 a nice rhythm so young adults 18 to 25
10:03 would be anywhere from seven to nine
10:05 hours
10:05 as little as six and as many as eleven
10:08 um adults so that's where most of us are
10:11 right like most of us are in this place
10:13 26 to 64. so this space
10:17 seven to nine hours um it says
10:20 as little as six and as many as ten so
10:24 i would say with that i can rock six
10:27 hours
10:27 like two nights in a row when i was
10:29 younger before my stroke i could rock
10:30 six hours probably three nights in a row
10:32 and be all right
10:34 but then at some point you're like oh my
10:35 gosh i'm just gonna fall over
10:37 listen to your body go to bed when your
10:41 kids go to bed
10:42 many times i went to bed when they went
10:44 to bed so let's back up to where we
10:46 talked about at the beginning and sort
10:48 of like how you get this going
10:50 so you know in waldorfland it is popular
10:53 to light
10:53 14 candles sing 16 songs and do 10
10:56 stories
10:56 i'm just teasing a little bit but i want
10:59 to back you up on that because
11:01 light one candle say one verse or a
11:04 family prayer
11:06 one story and then maybe
11:09 we do an audio book we do sparkle
11:11 stories at night i love
11:12 sparklestories.com
11:14 the people over there are fantastic and
11:16 yeah
11:17 i absolutely love them so i would
11:20 definitely do a sparkle story they're
11:22 short they're age-appropriate their ages
11:25 run from three
11:27 two adults and a nice short story would
11:31 be appropriate
11:32 after you've done your bedtime routine
11:34 but
11:36 that should be done early early so
11:39 dinner is the runway for bedtime so
11:42 dinner really should be between five
11:43 and six i like between i like 5 30 is
11:46 the sweet spot
11:47 so that by 6 30 you're tidying up and
11:51 they're getting ready for bed
11:52 and maybe you and the other parent could
11:56 trade off like who's cleaning up
11:57 versus who is getting kids ready for bed
11:59 do not send them upstairs
12:02 and tell them to brush their teeth
12:03 without following up with them
12:06 follow them i'm going to come with you
12:08 or i'm going to give you
12:10 five minutes and then i'm going to come
12:11 and check on you and in that five
12:13 minutes at two minutes the two minute
12:14 mark you go okay are you teeth brushed
12:16 now
12:17 oh okay i see you're you're not ready
12:20 yet
12:20 um are you in your pajamas okay so
12:24 so that way when you come into the
12:25 bedroom and you're ready for this
12:27 this nighttime space it's quiet so
12:30 no loud media after dinner no unless
12:34 i mean if you're having a family movie
12:35 night maybe but that's not every night
12:38 it's not every night and it shouldn't be
12:40 for the really little ones
12:42 we really hone this bedtime space our
12:45 nine-year-old
12:45 she will be 10 in april um
12:49 she still goes to bed um by eight
12:54 and and that was actually we just when
12:57 she turned nine we let her stay up till
12:58 eight before that her bedtime was
12:59 between seven and seven thirty
13:01 so she's nine she goes to bed by eight
13:04 she usually sleeps until sometime
13:06 between six and seven
13:08 sometimes a little bit longer um even
13:11 if even if she didn't go to bed till
13:12 nine she's still getting up at the same
13:14 time
13:14 so that's the the the space that a lot
13:16 of parents think well
13:17 if i put them to bed later they'll sleep
13:19 longer generally no they don't
13:21 but one thing that i have noticed if you
13:24 put them to bed earlier
13:25 and you get that piece in there that 10
13:27 to 12 hours in there that they totally
13:30 totally need
13:31 they tend to sleep the same they're
13:33 generally not up any earlier
13:35 if they are it's not much they sleep the
13:37 same they act better
13:39 school goes better you don't feel like
13:41 you're losing your mind
13:43 everybody's peaceful so i want you to
13:47 take a look at your sleep with them
13:49 if it needs to tune up make it happen
13:51 remember you're the only one who can
13:53 make it happen
13:54 you are in stewardship of these children
13:57 and you can do this sometimes it's
13:59 frustrating but take a deep breath
14:01 you've got this see you next time
Listen to "Episode 191 - How To Get Better Sleep!!" on Spreaker.
Actual Rhythm Chart: click here
Free Resources: click here
Planning for Peace: click here
Biz Schooling: click here
Parents In Sync: click here
50% Complete
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua.