Temperaments - Phlegmatic

"Things do not move the phlegmatic as such, but an interest arises when they see things reflected in others, and these interests are then reflected in the soul of phlegmatic children."  

Roberto Trostli, Rhythms of Learning (2017)


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00:02     good morning everybody I'm Melissa

00:04     Nelson I'm making sure we are gonna talk

00:10     today about the cozy phlegmatic but

00:12     first we're gonna give a few notes on it

00:14     so if you in essence one next week on

00:18     the 22nd in Australia's birthday so we

00:22     are not doing a live video we will have

00:24     a recorded video that will drop and it

00:28     will not be on the melancholy because I

00:30     wanted to make sure that that one was

00:31     live and so it will be I have an idea

00:34     for next week's video

00:35     it's just have to be pleasantly

00:36     surprised well make sure that Kelly I'll

00:39     make sure it gets out to everybody and

00:42     what are you doing well it's fiddly I'm

00:46     realizing that the phones are in the UFO

00:50     yeah well so um

00:54     Kelly will will post a recorded video

00:57     next week and and because we will be

01:00     enjoying our ice birthday I usually when

01:03     we do our morning videos she's up within

01:06     if she's not up during the video she's

01:08     up shortly after and we'll be at a hotel

01:10     next weekend I don't to be rushing

01:11     around trying to figure out where we are

01:13     and where she is so we will be doing a

01:16     recording video next week so on the 29th

01:19     we will be doing the melancholy and so I

01:23     think that good morning Kelly I think

01:26     that that's um I think that's a good

01:29     choice because I want to make sure that

01:31     that one is live and so join us next

01:34     week for our pre-recorded what I think I

01:37     think the title is going to be momentum

01:39     and and good momentum and bad momentum

01:43     and we're going to talk about that a

01:44     little bit but I think that's the title

01:46     so join us then on the 29th for The

01:50     Melancholy will round out our our series

01:53     our in temperament and really excited

01:57     thinking feeling willing opens this week

01:59     so and we are adding some stuff that I

02:04     am super excited about that I can't say

02:07     anything about yet so you're going to

02:08     have to join us here on Wednesday

02:11     morning that's a

02:12     Pacific time you are known to thinking

02:15     feeling really member and you've been

02:17     curious about it

02:19     now's the time to to join the cart will

02:21     be open for one week so it will be open

02:24     from Wednesday to Wednesday and yeah

02:29     super excited everyone I'm gonna

02:30     announce mm-hmm this is me some fun

02:32     stuff some fun stuff like stuff we've

02:35     never done before and that we're really

02:37     excited about and the people who are

02:40     doing those things with us I think are

02:41     excited about it too so so anyway that

02:45     will just sort of make you wonder also

02:47     we should have completed copies of

02:51     planning for peace but I'm hoping by the

02:53     end of the week so I paid for the fast

02:56     shipping hopefully be here soon and

02:59     we'll be able to show those so watch our

03:02     Instagram watch our Facebook for that

03:04     announcement if you have been waiting

03:05     for the new planning for peace journal

03:07     and you're not a thinking feeling

03:08     willing member or you don't even know

03:10     what the heck planning for peace is it

03:12     is our our planner and once you use our

03:16     planner you're gonna not need one ever

03:19     again because it is it's not a calendar

03:22     it's not like it's not like a day

03:23     planner it is a curriculum planner for

03:26     the year and we put everything together

03:29     and yeah it's pretty awesome I burned

03:34     the midnight oil and a 300-mile on that

03:36     one a little bit so we have been yeah we

03:39     both have what his glasses cover up his

03:42     bags yeah I'm working extra hard so we

03:45     have a video series that's going on

03:47     right now so if you're not a thinking

03:49     feeling willing member and you're

03:50     curious about that video serious drop us

03:51     a DM rpm and we'll we'll get you started

03:55     in that it's called cultivating head

03:57     heart and home if you are thinking

03:59     feeling willing member you have access

04:01     to that already and it is in it that

04:03     they can feeling willing support group

04:05     and I think did ice there's some

04:09     surprises that I can't talk about to

04:11     Wednesday

04:12     so again join us wednesday morning at 6

04:15     a.m. here and we're going to be talking

04:17     about it'll just be me Wednesday morning

04:20     but Wednesday evening Eric is gonna be

04:22     with me as well so we are also going to

04:25     be here Wednesday evening to talk to

04:27     dads so if you've been wanting thinking

04:29     feeling willing and you're not quite

04:32     sure your partner's gonna get on board

04:34     he's gonna be here to talk to partners

04:36     too we're gonna talk about it because it

04:37     is a family oriented family situation

04:41     and it's a big investment but it's an

04:43     investment in your entire schooling and

04:46     um you know we

04:48     I was looking yesterday because I don't

04:51     usually look it I don't usually look at

04:53     our competition just because just

04:55     because it's a it doesn't really

04:57     influence me it doesn't it's not like I

04:59     am Who I am and it's so it doesn't

05:01     really influenced me but I I do every

05:03     now and again just go what is so on so

05:05     charge for XY and Z and I about fell out

05:09     of my chair when I saw what people

05:11     search for one year and we charge so I'm

05:15     glad one here one subject of one year we

05:19     charts us and that or all the years and

05:22     give you the tools to build your own and

05:24     give you the tools to help you sort of

05:26     move forward from here and give you so

05:29     many more things that you can't learn

05:31     from a curriculum so you're interested

05:34     in our program

05:35     join us focusing right whether any of

05:37     their announcements that you can think

05:38     of not anything for today I can't think

05:43     of anything else all right

05:44     join us wednesday morning for the other

05:46     awesome I'm just very excited about what

05:48     we're going to talk about okay so let's

05:51     talk about you today's topic is the cozy

05:56     phlegmatic and I think I call it the

06:00     cozy phlegmatic because that's like

06:01     Sam's favorite word is cozy mm-hm and

06:03     now like Soraya will say it's cozy I'm

06:06     like no what stop it's hot it's not cozy

06:08     as I'd like there's me like going

06:12     through menopause going what is wrong

06:13     with you guys it is hot in here my kids

06:16     like oh it is so cozy it's so cozy we

06:19     just want to snuggle up Sam what's wants

06:22     us to have a

06:22     laughing contest I'm like dude I will I

06:25     will nap you under the table any day

06:27     napping contest silly boy so no I think

06:31     that the the phlegmatic and I meant to

06:35     grab actually I'm gonna grab this chart

06:36     that I have that I need to have with me

06:38     last week or sorry

06:47     here you go here am any other League

06:53     absolutely and this is just most of you

06:57     who've always have this if you are

06:59     thinking feeling willing member it is in

07:03     homeless support I think that's the

07:05     gentleman mom listen

07:07     and I think that I think it's pretty

07:11     good chart we have a couple of them we

07:12     have one that amber did and then this is

07:14     when the LA painted for us a couple of

07:16     years ago I they're basically the same

07:19     they just have to go pitch them I think

07:22     that the phlegmatic I think some people

07:25     think y'all are lazy if they don't in

07:28     and I know some lazy flag Maddox let's

07:31     just be honest we because I think that

07:33     that could be like the polarization just

07:36     like like the polarization that for me

07:38     could be like the match and the

07:40     polarization for you could be like lazy

07:43     but I think that most of the time people

07:46     see that and and it's not that at all

07:48     you're just you tend to take it in

07:52     analyze what's going on he's really good

07:56     people watcher an energy he could feel

08:00     people to energies really well really

08:02     well

08:02     no I meant I mean I remember at one of

08:07     my jobs there was a freelance person

08:09     that would come in I did not like it I

08:13     didn't have something personally against

08:14     this person I didn't like it when they

08:16     came in because I felt like there was

08:18     something kind of sucking everything out

08:20     of the room yeah he can feel that like

08:23     really quickly much quicker than I can

08:25     like like I don't feel like I have to

08:27     hone it I don't feel like you have to

08:28     really second-guessing go I may have

08:31     some jerk assistant collar and sometimes

08:33     there's people that it's like no other

08:36     doing something that's not cool when

08:39     they come in the room they're trying to

08:41     suck up everybody's energy I don't know

08:44     that those people are trying to suck it

08:45     up that's just who they are yeah they're

08:47     probably sanguine no or or or melancholy

08:51     and not balanced nobody that it gets

08:53     from time back because it's like how

08:55     about 20 years right but this person was

08:59     sick an awful lot which I thought was

09:00     interesting they were they couldn't get

09:04     enough to sustain themselves now I don't

09:07     know what you call that exactly but I

09:10     don't know but I I said this before I

09:12     would be super interested in having a

09:14     and doing some study on temperament and

09:18     illness just because I think like like

09:22     in like occurrences of people being sick

09:25     and terminal illnesses as well and which

09:28     things or like major illnesses like high

09:31     blood pressure for me and I totally

09:32     think that that's a clear thing most

09:34     people that are not choleric when I talk

09:37     to them about blood pressure their blood

09:38     pressure is either normal or low yeah

09:41     you know if I talk to a melancholy about

09:44     their blood pressure it's usually it's

09:46     usually well it's usually a low blood

09:48     pressure situation so I would be super

09:49     interested in some sort of medical study

09:52     or somebody understood temperament and

09:54     and could look at the whole thing

09:56     because like it's all anecdotal in my

09:58     head yeah

09:59     when people talk to you about their

10:00     ailments I go ha all right talk to me

10:02     some more so you figure out your temper

10:03     with it just because I think that I

10:06     think that is super interesting it being

10:08     super interesting like how how what we

10:11     show up with affects our physiology and

10:14     and and and I think at every turn we are

10:18     you know as sort of spiritual being

10:20     beings on this human journey we are

10:21     called to like overcome that as much as

10:25     possible like to to help our our bodies

10:30     sort of get in line with where our

10:33     spirit selves want to be and and that's

10:36     that's a journey I gotta tell ya like

10:39     I'm thinking about my own journey since

10:41     my stroke and it's a huge journey it's a

10:44     huge journey just sort of figure out we

10:47     you know how to balance your temperament

10:50     so that you're not like going to that

10:52     polarize place and so that your

10:54     illnesses stay where they should be and

10:56     I definitely believe that you know in my

10:59     own situation after my stroke I I was

11:04     very much like deciding okay I can

11:07     interwork this to that I'm going to its

11:09     I'm planning to and so I when I came out

11:14     of the hospital I got I had to take 21

11:16     pills a day and it was it was dragging

11:18     me down it was not where I wanted to be

11:20     and it made me feel awful and so I

11:22     realized that I had to get I had to get

11:25     very centered with who I was as a

11:29     choleric and and where I was going in in

11:32     my journey in this human the human body

11:35     part of my journey so that I could

11:37     balance and now I take one holiday and I

11:40     totally think that that's a overcoming

11:42     physiology deciding that I can balance

11:45     myself so that I am not in that place

11:48     and I think that I think that all

11:50     temperaments have the ability to balance

11:52     it's whether or not they want to it's

11:54     whether or not they're willing to take

11:56     on that because it is it's it's not a

11:59     chore but it's definitely like you know

12:04     I think a lot now before I speak it's a

12:06     training of yourself

12:08     you think yeah I mean I think that the

12:13     we can we can look at the the more

12:15     negative aspects of our temperament and

12:18     go okay well how do I make sure that

12:20     that's not what what things do I have to

12:23     do within myself to make sure that

12:24     that's not how I'm showing that well me

12:26     being more phlegmatic and you being

12:29     correct that that can be a recipe for

12:32     some bad things oh it totally could be

12:35     if I was not already on the path of

12:37     balancing when you and I got together I

12:39     don't think we would have gotten

12:40     together yeah

12:41     I think that and I think that so so Eric

12:45     you are phlegmatic with a good dose of

12:49     sanguine but my ex-husband was

12:51     melancholy with with phlegmatic and that

12:57     was at least for us it was a bad recipe

12:59     for he

13:00     we we were butting heads constantly and

13:03     and so like a lot of my personal journey

13:05     has been to understand the melancholy

13:08     and I understand what a balanced

13:09     melancholy looks like and seek that and

13:11     seek that help for our clients that are

13:14     been and colleague but I think that you

13:17     know like for you when we got together I

13:20     was very attracted to the fact that you

13:24     you were like just you were there and

13:28     listening and and open and in I'd love

13:33     to know what you thought about my energy

13:34     on my first night well I wasn't thinking

13:39     about temperament stuff because I didn't

13:41     know anything about right but you seem

13:44     like you're very interested in what was

13:46     going on and knowing more about what we

13:48     were all doing

13:49     and like genuine yeah like a real person

13:53     a real person really thing so let's go

13:59     through the the temperament the things

14:01     that are on this chart so appears lazy

14:05     eye I I don't I mean I could see that

14:09     like I could I think about our sons that

14:12     that are so magnetic

14:14     and I have used that word with with with

14:18     Harry in my not nice ball moments for

14:22     sure and now I can say more things like

14:26     it looks to me like you're being lazy

14:29     right now please tell me what you're

14:30     really doing that's a more like you know

14:34     and I think that we live in a culture

14:36     that's like we always going to be doing

14:37     something yeah so then as the choleric i

14:40     have to it and there's enough sanguine

14:42     you to that I have to go I don't have to

14:44     be doing something all the time yeah

14:46     it's good if you are if you and your

14:48     partner both balanced and then um you

14:51     can rub off on each other you know I

14:53     think that he's definitely rubbed off on

14:55     me and being able to relax and show more

14:58     but then I think that I've rubbed off on

15:00     you too and in some of the you know

15:03     being able to take charge on of more

15:05     things and so the other one is likes to

15:08     eat lettuce so our sons and in you two I

15:11     think I think about

15:12     I I will go for the sweet thing like

15:17     lickety-split I think that's the same

15:19     one thing but you savory burgers and

15:25     also it was funny cuz there was time

15:29     work there's one day like salmon Sariah

15:32     and I we have this thing where we like

15:34     to go to Del Taco

15:36     and we'll be there for an hour and a

15:37     half kids have books waiting a really

15:39     long food and I'm starting to do that

15:42     what one day we took Ellie with us and

15:44     she was really frustrating because I

15:47     don't understand why you guys see here

15:48     for someone they take forever to eat you

15:51     know like well we go out as a family

15:54     though the other night was the first

15:56     time ever that I was not the first one

16:00     done yes and I'm not eating fast

16:02     they just he slow like really slow

16:04     you're involved in something

16:07     yeah what's doing I was trying to take

16:09     care I think it was just like setting

16:11     reservations or something for something

16:12     they were going on next week and so I

16:13     was I was divided yeah attention but I

16:17     think that I think that's interesting

16:20     Sam well like he really enjoy his food

16:24     like and he's he has to work to I mean

16:28     that's why kids to karate four days a

16:30     week because I'm worried otherwise he

16:32     would be what's that boy's name on them

16:36     I guess just yeah I'm the boy Wonka

16:42     movie or the Willy Wonka book I think he

16:45     would be like that I think Harry

16:46     struggled with that a lot when he was

16:48     younger and when we had to really help

16:50     him get you know a good place with it

16:53     now he looks like he ate a tapeworm or

16:55     something because he's so flippin skinny

16:57     but but you know I think that when you

17:00     enjoy food you just have to have to

17:04     balance it with moving it up for sure so

17:08     um we used to have to tell Harry stop

17:11     sounding like you're making love to your

17:13     food like stop talking like that

17:23     you guys are stubborn even like I'm

17:26     reading this right here stubborn but I

17:29     think the flip side of that is um like

17:35     loyal maybe the flip side of that you

17:37     know like the positive piece of that

17:40     would be loyal you you want to have you

17:44     want to have a phlegmatic next to you

17:45     that the police did you when you're in

17:47     fights

17:48     she's you're pretty big oil but stubborn

17:51     I think stubbornness funny like I have

17:54     this um this visual of dragging a mule

17:58     at the heel you know how like they could

18:01     tend to sit down and you feel like

18:03     you're pulling pulling pulling yeah

18:07     that's sometimes how lessons feel with

18:10     the phlegmatic if you cannot get them

18:12     properly enlightened and and I think

18:15     that like as I think about both Harry

18:18     and Sam yeah yeah and Samuel Harry has

18:21     autism and so there's a whole other mix

18:24     there but for the most part both boys

18:27     they love their mother so much that they

18:30     will do just about anything for me and

18:33     so I have to keep that relationship in a

18:35     good place and when I do then things

18:38     flow really smoothly I don't want to be

18:40     in a place of needing to raise my voice

18:42     at them or anything like because they

18:44     will shut down they will shut down a

18:46     phlegmatic doesn't do well with being

18:47     yelled at or they'll they'll try to fix

18:51     it like immediately well when I worked

18:54     outside the home and there's other

18:56     situations so there's something that I

18:57     don't want to do and I'll try to figure

19:00     out every way around my head and

19:02     sometimes I've had bosses and like

19:04     you're not getting out of this any mob

19:06     will be frustrated some people because

19:08     there were some things like I don't want

19:10     to do this you know that you know

19:13     dancing around it until you know

19:15     sometimes there's a way around it but

19:17     sometimes not so that's when you have to

19:20     kind of get control of your temperament

19:21     go okay I'm gonna have to do this I got

19:24     to figure out how to make it work that's

19:27     where that stubborn piece comes and I

19:28     think but I think that overall like I I

19:31     think about both of our boys they are

19:33     very much

19:34     about like if there's a fight going on

19:36     if there's somebody that's unhappy they

19:38     will be like what can I do to fix it

19:39     what can i because they want to be back

19:41     in that comfortable place like comfort

19:43     rules the phlegmatic and so any

19:45     discomfort is not going to be easy for

19:48     them any discomfort and so moving is

19:52     often fun you're pretty good at it

19:54     because you by the time by the time

19:56     we've decided to move usually it's it's

19:58     because we have to for other reasons not

20:02     like not financial reasons but just

20:04     because it's like oh this is something

20:06     that's right he because you're pretty

20:07     logical - yeah I mean sometimes when

20:11     we've moved you you've been thinking

20:13     about moving for like six months and I'm

20:16     like he's like Oh thinking about all the

20:28     logistics this is gonna be s

20:30     uncomfortable and it's gonna be so hard

20:31     but all right well I

20:37     yeah especially when it's like not a

20:39     half-two movement it's like I mean like

20:41     this ain't gonna mean it's like that

20:43     house but no I think that that that I

20:49     think that that is it this is trademark

20:52     so like our so our middle son Jacob

20:55     lives with his dad he called me last

20:58     week and we were talking and and he had

21:00     gotten quite a bit they're getting ready

21:02     to move from Salt Lake City to Vancouver

21:04     Washington and they've gotten quite a me

21:07     had quite a bit of momentum behind this

21:09     like she was up in arms so there was all

21:11     this momentum behind how crappy things

21:14     were going and and I said if he is

21:17     temperament is sanguine melancholy and

21:19     my ex's temperament remember is

21:22     melancholic phlegmatic so he's got all

21:25     this momentum behind like things are

21:27     going crappy and oh my gosh and and I

21:31     just said I said have you been talking

21:33     to your dad it's like yeah so let's have

21:38     a conversation about like how things are

21:42     not crappy and and and I first because

21:44     here's the thing with the melancholy and

21:46     we'll talk about this

21:47     we talked about melancholies don't ever

21:49     try to cheer them up never it's not a

21:52     good idea

21:52     they get more mad when you try to cheer

21:54     them up and so it's okay if you say this

21:58     is what I did say I listen to him and

22:01     which is actually like a more balanced

22:03     part of me because before I'd have been

22:05     like you know what dude I don't want to

22:06     listen to this like negative negative

22:07     talk so but as his long I put my coach

22:11     hat on and I just listened and when he

22:14     was done I said honey I love you and I

22:18     am willing to listen to you but maybe

22:21     you should call me back when you're

22:23     ready to talk about some solutions

22:24     because I know that's really where you

22:26     want to be is in the solution place he's

22:28     like no mom I want to talk to solution

22:30     talk solutions now and it's like like

22:31     that flipped it and and we talked about

22:35     where because his daddy is so dominantly

22:39     phlegmatic with the melancholy I said he

22:42     does not like change and so you are

22:45     going to have to be very gentle about

22:49     all of this

22:50     and make sure that you help him with

22:52     solutions because he'll get hung up on

22:54     my ex will get hung up on the problem

22:57     and just stay in the problem like just

22:59     stay in the problem and and that's very

23:01     evident with some things that we've seen

23:03     in the past but he'll just stay in the

23:04     problem rather than then working for so

23:07     because my son's an adult we were able

23:09     to have this conversation they he was

23:12     able to then help pull his dad out of

23:15     that space and and and put him into a

23:18     better space and I said just stop

23:20     telling that I told you that that would

23:22     be bad but I think that what happens

23:25     with the phlegmatic is because you are

23:27     problem solvers you can also think

23:30     things to death like all the bad stuff

23:32     that could happen there's that and

23:37     there's also like trying to figure out

23:40     how to do things with the least amount

23:42     of energy or anything but the problem is

23:46     is you can end up with a self-fulfilling

23:49     prophecy I think you end up it ends up

23:52     costing more or taking more time than it

23:55     should because you're trying to find the

23:57     shortcut so they're just getting it done

23:59     and then there's times where a

24:02     phlegmatic can set off a choleric

24:05     because they figured out like you know

24:08     tomorrow is an optimal time to do this

24:09     because so-and-so is gonna be here the

24:11     weather is this or why has it not been

24:14     done and it's not a holiday and there's

24:16     like a bunch of people or everything so

24:18     it makes more sense to do it tomorrow

24:20     it's not the same as procrastinating

24:22     that's like I don't want to do it's all

24:24     well tomorrow's they studied it out he

24:27     knows I'm optimal teenis

24:28     it makes more sense to do it now or to

24:31     do it later because right now it's rush

24:33     hour or this or that so it's like what

24:36     are all the factors that make this hard

24:37     and when is it not hard I think that

24:40     when we were first married that that was

24:42     that was harder for me but then you

24:43     realize if you just told me what was

24:46     going on then I was fine with it I'm

24:49     totally fine with efficiency in fact I

24:52     appreciate that fact that he finds

24:53     efficient ways to do things like the

24:55     cleric and maids like all over that like

24:56     thank you for finding the most efficient

24:59     way but I think that if if not if we had

25:03     don't have that communication then it

25:06     can appear like procrastination like oh

25:08     I'm gonna wait till tomorrow but really

25:09     he's got he never gives a to-do list I

25:11     mean sometimes now he does because we

25:13     have so many working parts with business

25:15     right now

25:15     but rarely does he keep it to do list

25:17     and he's got everything is right here

25:19     like it's all inside his head like all

25:22     of it and I go how can you do that but

25:25     it's all of the working parts are there

25:27     and then then and you like lays it out

25:29     and this is beautiful planner what I

25:32     would stress off stress out sometimes

25:35     people when I worked outside the home

25:37     especially because I work there were bad

25:40     lines were such a big deal sometimes

25:43     that stressed out well because I can

25:45     remember times where you'd be like well

25:46     I just have to tweak this little thing

25:47     over here and let's say thing over here

25:48     and this over here and then it all comes

25:50     together and if you don't notice it if

25:52     you don't know it that that methodical

25:54     thinking is very methodical in what he

25:56     does and and if you don't know that then

25:59     it can look kind of like it can look

26:02     haphazard and and and like a lazy person

26:05     did it but if you know that about them

26:08     then that they're going to be methodical

26:09     then you can appreciate that that

26:11     methodical piece I think that I

26:14     definitely appreciate how my thought

26:16     Oakley is but then there are times where

26:17     we've had to be like nope you got to

26:19     make a choice because they'll also study

26:23     something the death or sometimes no

26:26     easiness does just you know things are

26:29     this not happening well I think about

26:31     like phlegmatic bombs

26:33     the biggest struggle usually is getting

26:35     started and once they get started then

26:37     it then they can continue but getting

26:39     started is usually the hardest one for

26:41     them and and in ways like because all I

26:45     usually recommend getting a walk in in

26:47     the morning so you've got a phlegmatic

26:49     mom who doesn't want to be out of the

26:51     cozy place and her kids are bouncing off

26:53     the walls she thinks that they're being

26:55     disobedient she thinks she just one and

26:57     then she's yelling and she's trying to

26:58     figure out why can't I get them under

27:01     control and I will then ask talk to me

27:03     about you know what your morning rhythms

27:05     like and she's like well I like to roll

27:07     out of bed to take things really slow

27:09     take about 20 minutes to drink my coffee

27:11     and then we'll roll into lessons and go

27:15     but that's not what your child needs

27:16     that's not what your child needs your

27:18     child needs for you to get going and and

27:22     get moving and so once you can get to

27:24     that place of getting over the hump

27:26     because I think for you getting over the

27:28     hump is the important thing right

27:29     because then once you're comfortable in

27:30     the hump over them then you can stick

27:33     with it everyone says my son is such a

27:37     cozy black Maddock he is so kind and

27:39     helpful but things can take forever to

27:41     get going when he is amazing at getting

27:44     things done when asked yeah I think that

27:47     when they're kids so we don't we've been

27:49     talking with the adult but when they're

27:52     kids I think that really what what we

27:56     have to instill in them is balance you

28:00     know so like with Sam I'm continually

28:03     talking about balance one of the things

28:06     with my phlegmatic I'm watching it I

28:08     watched it with Harry I was like there

28:10     are things with Harry being a phlegmatic

28:12     that was like I said onto them then I

28:13     see them with Sam I'm like nope it

28:15     wasn't autism that was definitely time

28:16     from

28:17     one of the things that we've noticed is

28:19     that we've had to like I have to get my

28:23     foot in his butt sometimes about

28:25     personal hygiene he is almost 13 years

28:28     old and you know he he's trying to get

28:34     over that hump

28:34     I remember when Harry was in that place

28:36     and he just decided he decided one day

28:38     he was into a shower every day but he

28:40     wasn't 13 he's probably 14 yeah 14 maybe

28:44     yeah probably 14 14 years old he decided

28:46     I'm taking a shower every day guess what

28:48     happens with the phlegmatic when they

28:50     decide they do it every day every day

28:53     like every day they don't want to stop

28:56     so it's about getting them over that

28:58     hump of that decision space because once

29:01     it's a habit for them it's a habit so

29:05     you know with what Samuel we've had to

29:07     like help him balance that piece and and

29:10     because they are so tender-hearted you

29:15     have to be careful you have to be

29:16     careful and not yell at that there are

29:18     definitely time so I will turn to Eric

29:20     and say honey you need to talk to him

29:22     about this because if I talk to him

29:24     about it I'm gonna make him cry in it

29:26     and I won't be like intending to make

29:27     him cry but like there are certain

29:30     topics I could already like see the

29:32     tears well up in his eyes he's like can

29:35     I please give you a hug

29:36     well there's been times when when Harry

29:40     was living here and you would say you

29:43     need to go talk to him and then I go

29:45     talk to my sick mom must be really mad

29:47     yeah she said you

29:50     let's see Becca says sometimes when I'm

29:53     feeling overwhelmed we're thinking so it

29:55     helps for me to make a list and then ask

29:57     myself what do I have the energy to take

29:59     care of today it forces me to be honest

30:01     with myself about how I'm feeling and

30:03     set reasonable goals instead of doing

30:05     nothing because it's not comfortable

30:07     that is a really balanced way to think

30:09     of things Becca because I definitely

30:11     think that the phlegmatic gets

30:13     overwhelmed like you don't ever want to

30:15     put that flag matic in the driver's seat

30:17     when you go to drive up window to order

30:19     food I hate that I can't usually sit

30:22     back let me over

30:25     because everybody wants to make like

30:28     alterations like I'll just order the

30:30     bass thing and take the things off I

30:32     want because I don't know and sometimes

30:38     it's complicated and it's like and then

30:40     sometimes the people at the window are

30:43     out like multitasking and already taking

30:45     somebody else's order while talking to

30:47     us this is just like this whole thing do

30:52     I use when he and I met this is what's

30:54     so funny when he and I met I seemed like

30:57     the first time we were in I assume like

30:59     it was Rexburg Taco Bell like we don't

31:01     do talked about anymore because we live

31:02     in Southern California there's real

31:04     thanks convicted so do you talk about

31:06     but when we look tonight at how I can

31:08     remember and he was he was like we're

31:10     parking I was like what are you doing

31:12     why are you parking I'm like I was a

31:14     single mom with three kids

31:16     I never parked it went into a restaurant

31:17     I was like I'm going through the

31:18     drive-through and and it was it was

31:21     definitely a learning experience for me

31:25     because that's one of the reasons why

31:27     you don't like the drive-through because

31:28     they mess things up all the time and so

31:30     he would just go in it would be easier

31:33     to deal with people when you in it yeah

31:35     I was like there's been a few

31:37     drive-through I lost my patience with

31:39     like everybody yeah including the person

31:45     taking order but to be fair weed is

31:47     legal in California and you know how

31:49     many times I just drive up window the

31:51     person on the other end just like too

31:52     stoned out of their gourd I'm like

31:53     seriously this is not our job push the

31:58     button and Lord yeah anyway we don't

32:02     need fast food that often but it's just

32:03     kind of funny because I think that

32:05     anytime that there's any activity that

32:07     can be overwhelming

32:09     I beat because I've been married to him

32:12     for almost 13 almost 14 years

32:14     fortunately three years going on 14

32:16     years because we've been married for so

32:17     long I know when it's going to be

32:19     something that's overwhelming to him and

32:21     and so I'm aware of it and I'm

32:24     compassionate about it and not only that

32:26     but because overwhelm doesn't look

32:28     pretty for the phlegmatic I don't want

32:30     to see that for him like not just for

32:32     him but I don't want to see that for

32:33     everybody else and so that's

32:35     usually when the the phlegmatic gets mad

32:37     or sad is when you know depending on

32:41     what their secondary temperament is is

32:44     when they're overwhelmed and so that

32:46     will come out in a sad way I think if

32:49     their secondary is melancholy then

32:51     they'll have a pity party and be sad and

32:54     if their secondary is saying when

32:55     they're more likely to go I think I mean

33:01     the melancholy can yell too but here's a

33:02     few let's see what we missed here

33:05     he said transition to the next thing can

33:08     be hard to once my daughter gets going

33:10     with a book or lesson or whatever she

33:12     wants to keep going for hours instead of

33:14     moving on to the next activity

33:16     absolutely I think that like Maddox

33:18     definitely need that transition warning

33:20     so I'll in Sam was pretty good at it now

33:24     but he's been my child from you know

33:26     almost 13 years so I was in Harry too

33:30     I will say this is gonna happen in ten

33:32     minutes Harry's really good at asking

33:34     for the transition now as an adult he's

33:36     22 he'll say let me know 20 minutes

33:39     before because he's asking for the

33:41     transition Becca says oh wow the best

33:44     description of phlegmatic to me i order

33:46     the biggest thing and just take off what

33:48     I don't want super easy and visually

33:49     understand and the other Becca says I

33:52     order the same thing from each

33:53     restaurant every single time he does

33:56     often - I ain't going to eat going to

34:00     eat it in a place where I like more than

34:03     one thing on the menu that's really

34:05     funny and me Anand says I always

34:07     suspected that I have phlegmatic sites

34:10     my ultimate sanguine is it possible that

34:12     the test can be wrong the test always

34:15     says I'm piercing with yes actually I

34:17     don't trust us and I've said that before

34:19     I don't I don't trust the online tests

34:22     like at all I because they don't they

34:24     don't ever come up right for me and

34:27     studying yourself is the best way to

34:30     make yourself like the purpose of a

34:33     study and in its lifelong inner work but

34:36     to study yourself is the best way to

34:38     really understand your temperament and I

34:40     think that the tests are often false

34:42     like I would say out of all the families

34:45     that I've worked with out of all the

34:46     women that I work too

34:47     they'll tell me this is what my test

34:49     says and I'll be like no it's not that

34:51     just is wrong nine times out of ten for

34:54     you I knowing you I would say definitely

34:58     you have a heavy dose of sanguine for

35:00     sure

35:01     so because I don't know you in real life

35:03     and we haven't talked on the phone a lot

35:05     I I couldn't tell you what your

35:07     secondary is they definitely think that

35:09     I have you have a lot of saying what I

35:11     don't know that anybody is Mia there are

35:13     some people that are pure one way but I

35:16     definitely think most people have at

35:18     least one secondary and a lot of people

35:21     have two secondaries

35:22     I don't tend to have I am like heavy

35:25     cleric dohsa sanguine he is heavy

35:29     phlegmatic dose of sanguine so it's

35:32     really great when the too sanguine parts

35:34     work together sometimes sometimes it

35:36     give me a disaster but but I think that

35:40     most people have at least one secondary

35:43     I think all of our kids really only have

35:46     one secondary so there's an element we

35:50     probably haven't talked about which is

35:52     the sleeping cleric part yeah if like

35:55     Maddox the watery one then there's

35:57     occasionally there's a big wave there is

35:58     and actually saying are called the

36:00     phlegmatic the sleeping killer so often

36:02     like Maddox will tell me that their

36:04     cleric and I'll say no you're not you're

36:06     you are a phlegmatic and that sleeping

36:09     choleric part like comes in so so if you

36:11     can imagine a wave and it's Placid and

36:14     you know it just moves and then it

36:16     crashes down well that's their like when

36:19     they're when they're motivated to do

36:21     something that's the time and so you

36:23     really have to watch that with your

36:24     children and and find something that

36:26     they get really excited about I've known

36:28     a lot of moms that have had real

36:30     struggle getting a flag matic started

36:32     but once they were started they're going

36:34     they're going they're going and and and

36:37     usually you see it through I mean there

36:39     have been a few times that Harry's not

36:40     seeing something through and you're like

36:41     I don't know what the heck happened

36:43     there because his his temperament

36:45     usually rolls out I was thinking about

36:46     the books that he writes all the way to

36:47     like oh yeah corners of the he had like

36:50     a three-part series and he got to like

36:53     hundred pages at the end of the third

36:55     book psych I'm done yeah which is not

36:57     generally what a phlegmatic does

36:59     I think that was a little dose of autism

37:01     in there and we were like don't you I

37:02     know what happens he's like no that's

37:04     all right well you know we have like

37:07     conversations like that where I'm like

37:09     well he saw the trailer for when they've

37:13     got Silva moving he's like do I have to

37:15     see the one the first one and I said

37:18     yeah you do are you sure it looks like I

37:22     want to see this wait no yeah into the

37:24     first one I don't I'm not going to do

37:26     okay I think for Mellie Bobby but I know

37:36     one thing that's funny when it comes to

37:38     the sleeping choleric thing is there are

37:40     situations where I want to go full in on

37:43     something and not let myself get

37:47     distracted like I got to get this done

37:49     and I'm just gonna dive in until I can

37:52     back up sometimes it's my go to the

37:55     place where if something's uncomfortable

37:57     I'd rather pull the band-aid off he has

38:00     a pull the band-aid off fast kind of guy

38:01     I remember telling you about what I had

38:04     my wisdom teeth taken out and they said

38:06     well if you stay awake you recover

38:08     faster than when if you put you under

38:10     and I stayed awake to the whole thing

38:14     sometimes I'll trade like uncomfortable

38:18     for a short time to get it over with

38:21     you must had a good dentist but oh I

38:24     mean it's late thank you

38:25     I mean also like to be to my detriment

38:28     because I'm glad that I have everybody

38:31     to balance me during comic-con because

38:34     if I was by myself oh yes I would only

38:36     get two or three hours of sleep a night

38:38     probably wouldn't write I would regret

38:43     it yeah because he'd feel bad then

38:46     afterwards but I have to say like with

38:48     regards to that because I know how

38:49     excited he gets and how much fun he asks

38:51     with that because I am Who I am and

38:54     we're really equally yoked I can I can

38:57     warn everybody around it just like your

38:59     dad go this is his thing this is his

39:02     thing it's his Christmas just let him go

39:04     he has a fun time

39:06     let him go have fun and I tend to be

39:09     like very like forgiving of anything

39:11     that you do that week

39:12     that's not a mean person or anything

39:14     like that but he's like very focused on

39:16     like having a good time you and so I

39:19     think that when you can balance and you

39:22     can appreciate each other's temperaments

39:23     then you can do things like that where

39:25     you can go it's alright just disco just

39:27     like you know when I get into like doing

39:29     something head on he'll do the same

39:30     thing for me I think that where I really

39:33     see your balance is you have a lot of

39:36     times like that where you're you go I

39:38     just gotta dive in and get something

39:39     done and it's almost like he turns the

39:41     sink went off and sets her aside sets

39:45     him aside and says nope you can't be in

39:47     control I'm just 100% in control I'm

39:49     tired of thinking about this I'm tired

39:51     of right and so I think like work-wise

39:56     he he does that fairly fairly well and I

39:59     think a lot of a lot of phlegmatic sand

40:03     it being managers and I think that's

40:04     because they have that sort of like

40:07     placid temperament where people can come

40:10     to them they're open they can read

40:12     people and then they can't think so and

40:14     they need to and so yeah okay so let's

40:17     see we have another coming at least says

40:19     funny I was sure I was heavily heavy

40:22     phlegmatic with some choleric but after

40:24     listening to your last three videos I

40:25     think is a substantial chunk of all

40:28     three well you're not choleric and

40:30     phlegmatic did you listen to that part

40:32     so you are phlegmatic with that at the

40:36     phlegmatic bye bye Nature has the

40:39     sleeping choleric in them and so that's

40:42     that's that part where a lot of moms

40:44     think that they're there they go I don't

40:46     know why I can't get started on

40:47     something and I just yell all the time I

40:49     must be choleric so the choleric is not

40:52     a Yeller by nature the choleric is a

40:55     reader by nature and gets things done

40:58     and so but we're often loud and we're

41:02     often like to the point and so we can

41:06     seem like yellers and and I have

41:08     absolutely been a Yeller in my life we

41:11     can use our voices more that way but in

41:14     general it's not in general it's not out

41:17     of anger it might sound like it's out of

41:20     impatience but it's not out of anger and

41:22     so I think if you are a Yeller and

41:25     you're wondering

41:25     am I just a mean choleric I want you to

41:28     step back and ask yourself what other

41:31     things are actually showing up more if

41:34     you are because I somebody often people

41:39     that are melancholy also think their

41:40     third cleric because they're yelling but

41:42     really it comes from a different place a

41:45     melancholy yells out of anger and

41:48     frustration and nobody is listening to

41:50     me

41:51     a flag Matic person will yell because

41:54     they waited too long to act would you

41:58     say that's accurate

42:00     yeah waited too long to act and now

42:03     they're like why can't you guys just sit

42:05     still

42:05     what is going on here why are you why

42:09     are you bouncing off the walls because

42:10     they waited too long to act like ten

42:12     minutes before that they should have

42:13     gotten up again for a walk so that's

42:15     where I phlegmatic yells a choleric well

42:18     yell because of like listen to me I'm a

42:22     leader you need to follow me and and

42:26     often they're yelling is not from an

42:28     anger place it's from a more firm place

42:30     so let's see Becca says can you be a

42:36     sanguine phlegmatic yes I think that's

42:39     what I am I think that's what you are

42:40     too sweetie

42:42     the real me the real me but can that

42:45     combination work I think if they can

42:47     think but have a million projects yes

42:49     that absolutely can absolutely those two

42:51     those two work actually I see that one

42:54     often I see that one often maybe that's

42:57     why I get the project's done is through

43:00     the phlegmatic yes absolutely I think

43:01     that that's the and you might take

43:04     longer at them like I think about I

43:06     think about you Eric loves to build

43:08     models and he'll often have I think I'm

43:10     like the across the room have like two

43:12     or three there and the stages of

43:14     completion but he's working on them all

43:16     and they will all get finished now same

43:19     one might be like and I'm working on but

43:21     with that I'm gonna go over here and

43:22     work and maybe never come back to it I

43:24     need to use X color so it's he just

43:27     works on what he can and if that's an

43:29     assignments I have to use this silver

43:31     color so everything that needs that I'll

43:33     do that and then I'll move on right

43:37     but he'll finish it he'll finish it so

43:39     absolutely that's that's absolutely a

43:41     possibility if you're not a guy over

43:43     there with no arms

43:44     you know I'm looking across the room at

43:46     where his workstation is and Boba Fett

43:49     has no arms it's gotten weird um let's

43:52     see to do tally says I'm a melancholy

43:58     Yeller because no one hears me my

44:01     husband is a plank matta killer because

44:03     he waited too long

44:03     yep yep absolutely I waited I think

44:07     that's that's very much accurate for

44:10     what I would I see very much accurate

44:15     Rebekah says can we talk about dealing

44:18     with frustration with this temperament I

44:20     know this is one reason why I wait until

44:23     the kids are only what you do I was

44:26     trying to ask them wait until the kids

44:28     are in bed to do housework I want to be

44:32     able to go steady until the job is done

44:34     it's already taken a lot of effort to

44:36     get myself into into a job and I don't

44:39     want to be interrupted so dealing with

44:42     frustration I think that a lot of it

44:45     comes with failing to act in time so if

44:50     I completely understand this idea of you

44:53     wanting to wait until kids are in bed to

44:55     do housework like from a choleric

44:57     standpoint I'm like just in the other

44:58     way and I'll do myself but from the

45:02     standpoint of needing to teach your

45:04     children you have to give them an

45:06     opportunity to do those jobs and so in

45:11     order to for you to not have that piece

45:13     of frustration you probably need to

45:15     start sooner like before you get to

45:18     before you even get tipped to the

45:19     frustration point you want to be you

45:21     want to see that frustration point and

45:23     you want to go oh I want to stay away

45:24     from there and start 20 minutes before

45:27     10 minutes before you want to really

45:30     work to instill good habits and in doing

45:33     that you have to be proactive about it

45:36     you have to be in a place of okay this

45:39     is what we're doing and I'm teaching you

45:40     how to do these things because it's good

45:42     for you long haul and then when you are

45:45     in that place with them you and your in

45:48     your sink okay we all need to go clean

45:50     you want to not be in a place of waiting

45:52     until it's like making you mad dirty you

45:56     want to step it back and knowing that

45:58     that when you have built a nest at the

46:03     side of you the bed that you probably

46:05     want to clean that up sooner so that

46:08     you're I'm just teasing but that I'm

46:10     teasing bit but that is he doesn't he

46:13     doesn't care so like when we moved into

46:14     this house it was like which side of the

46:17     bed do you want I said on the side next

46:18     to the door and because then he can have

46:22     us he can have his space and it can be

46:25     messy at his embalming because I don't

46:27     see it yeah but that's something that we

46:29     had to like like learn I had to figure

46:31     that in my last house he was closer to

46:33     the door and that's the first thing you

46:36     see when you walk in and and I had to

46:38     really learn to be like okay that's not

46:40     my mess I have to worry about it it's

46:41     just I just step over but but it was

46:44     it's easier for me to not have to look

46:46     at it our oldest daughter was more

46:50     frustrated with my phlegmatic this

46:52     because of a few were gone and I was mad

46:55     not calling well you were gone I'd be in

46:57     charge and she's like this is crazy I

46:59     even need to get a handle on this and

47:01     I'm like they're not hurting each other

47:03     they're not care if they got destroyed

47:05     property it's not a big deal it is a big

47:08     deal you need this is unacceptable

47:10     I'm like just choleric edges but then

47:16     they're you know I'll admit there are

47:18     times that you waited too long but I

47:21     think if you if you go too soon right

47:27     no I I don't think that's a danger was

47:30     like going there yeah I took too long at

47:34     times but it's funny I think that um I

47:39     think that coming figuring out that

47:42     balance is golden and and there are

47:44     still times where he's like up I missed

47:46     that window yeah but I do it too I mean

47:48     so it's definitely not like a oh man

47:50     beat yourself up because you're not

47:52     perfect definitely not but like knowing

47:53     it about yourself and you can be on top

47:55     of it 80% of the time and the other 20%

47:58     will not feel so you know not feel so

48:01     bad it will not feel so far

48:03     turning tally says I don't want to be a

48:05     Yeller and go through phases and not

48:07     yell we're gonna talk about your

48:10     temperament a lot on the 29th I'm

48:13     guessing that that that's the one that

48:15     most people will say to me I call you

48:18     I'm like dude there are a lot of good

48:20     things about the melancholy so don't

48:22     stress I think that I get that one a lot

48:26     and I don't want to be a cleric like why

48:28     we're awesome

48:29     why not you know Brennan says my poor

48:34     husband is so choleric and melancholy

48:36     nope he's not well he's a both and my

48:40     mess my mess used to drive him crazy but

48:44     over time he says he's learned to let it

48:46     go but after a while he'll try to remind

48:48     me nicely so I see her may see nicely

48:51     but he's not those two together and I've

48:54     said that before and I know that there

48:55     are people that will say that I'm not

48:57     that I'm not correct but I studied a lot

49:00     of people and those who do not go well

49:02     two don't go together

49:03     aye-aye I've never seen one I've every

49:07     time somebody says I am a choleric

49:09     melancholy I go talk to me about that

49:11     nope your melancholy has mad because it

49:15     looks the same it lists from the outside

49:17     it looks the same a choleric will yell

49:20     for a different reason

49:22     and leans for a different reason a

49:24     melancholy yells and and it is in that

49:28     space because somebody has done

49:30     something to them it is a personal

49:33     attack choleric will not yell at a

49:36     personal attack generally well generally

49:39     I mean if somebody's making us mad but

49:40     then we're over at like like that and so

49:43     like coming from it from a place there's

49:46     usually not any feeling to it a

49:48     melancholy it will attack and we'll yell

49:52     from a place of you've done this to me

49:55     you aren't my feelings

49:56     I'm really mad at you that's not the

49:59     quite same place that a cleric comes

50:01     from so that's there's there's that

50:03     anger space is a really defining space

50:06     as to which temperament is which and I

50:09     truly believe that truly believe that I

50:12     have studied it for a long time and I

50:14     just I yeah

50:16     can there be a super driven melancholy

50:18     yes absolutely in fact they are often

50:21     some of the most driven people and the

50:24     reason why is because they're guilty all

50:26     the time it's fueled by emotion

50:28     it is definitely feels fueled by emotion

50:31     is definitely filled by motion they're

50:33     trying to fill their pocket or they feel

50:36     like they need to fill everybody else's

50:37     bucket yeah yeah that that's their that

50:40     that's their job in life is to fill

50:41     everybody else not to get these done

50:44     necessarily as well that's how they feel

50:47     and how yeah and how they think how they

50:52     think everybody should be but not from

50:56     an emotional place like when I go I

50:58     can't understand that you should do this

51:00     that's from a logical place as not from

51:03     like a an emotional place like Maddock

51:06     can do things to avoid confrontation or

51:09     they do have a desire to get things done

51:12     or they just they just want to be on the

51:15     other side of it and not think about it

51:17     and I think that yeah I think I was

51:24     thinking about that what you just said

51:25     about avoiding confrontation I think

51:27     that what ends up happening when you

51:30     have a flag matic in a marriage

51:32     situation and they don't want to like

51:34     pull their weight or make changes that

51:37     are positive for everybody

51:38     they will never divorce you you will

51:41     have to be the one that says this has to

51:43     happen or we're gonna have to get a

51:46     divorce

51:46     they will never divorce you so if you

51:49     are in a place but but then if you if

51:53     you do file for divorce then it could

51:54     get ugly for sure but and I don't like

51:57     to talk about divorce because I'm

51:58     definitely not a proponent of that but I

52:00     think that I and I've had this

52:02     conversation with phlegmatic couples

52:04     before what they would rather be upset

52:09     and hate each other then go through the

52:11     discomfort of fixing it or getting a

52:14     divorce they would rather live in

52:17     dysfunction and that is really sad

52:21     really sad because as a choleric

52:24     when I was in that space

52:27     I was tired when I finally when I

52:30     finally got healthy enough to realize

52:33     that I didn't want to live in that

52:35     dysfunction anymore I can remember when

52:38     I went into the therapist that I had

52:40     when I was going through my divorce and

52:42     I went in and I sat down and told him my

52:45     whole story and and cuz he wanted to

52:47     know like why are you here you know this

52:48     person asked so why are you here and I

52:51     was like well I'm trying to figure out

52:52     how to save my marriage and and and then

52:54     it gave him this whole spiel and at the

52:56     end he looked at me and said I actually

52:57     think I'm your therapist to help you get

52:59     through your divorce and I was like

53:00     thank you it was like this huge weight

53:04     had been lifted off of me because I had

53:06     somebody else see that that's what had

53:09     to happen and and then it allowed me to

53:12     be in that space of you know getting

53:15     through that and and I was healthy

53:18     enough but but you know when you are not

53:21     willing to change not willing to make

53:23     changes to you know for your marriage

53:26     for the better for the good of your

53:27     children for the better of everybody

53:29     that's a really tough place to be

53:30     because I go wow you're really committed

53:33     to that like really committed to it

53:38     sorry we didn't cover that you think I'm

53:42     your skin with who this list appears

53:45     lazy likes to eat stubborn so this would

53:48     be like the more like polarized pieces

53:50     likes comfort loyal peace maker totally

53:55     agree with that peace maker

53:56     they are the peacemakers loving

53:58     steadfast methodical and calm unless

54:02     you're like in that I have seen her

54:04     throw a chair yes really not know I they

54:13     he is usually like wait when I tell

54:14     people he get mad they're like really oh

54:16     he was mad yeah so they can get mad they

54:21     can get mad but it comes from a

54:22     different place okay any other questions

54:25     I think we're good all right

54:27     join us again on the 29th for skipping

54:29     next week next week will be a recording

54:33     recorded because it's Reyes birthday

54:36     and we are not gonna be home and I don't

54:38     want trying do it from a hotel and miss

54:40     her waking up on her eighth birthday

54:42     so enjoy next week it's Earth Day as

54:46     well so because of Earth she was asking

54:49     what's earth day it's my birthday so our

54:51     thing let's go

54:53     it's the earth where they do who's not

54:58     wanting share birthday with anybody um

55:01     for those of you who celebrate Easter I

55:04     hope you have a wonderful holy week and

55:06     that you have a wonderful Easter

55:09     celebration I know we're planning to so

55:11     I think in and like I said if you are

55:15     not a thinking feeling willing member

55:17     and you want to know some awesome join

55:20     us wednesday morning at 6 a.m. Pacific

55:22     time same time same place so we will be

55:25     talking about

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