Evaluating Your Relationship with Your Partner, Forgiving and Everything in Between

partnering Jan 03, 2024

This encompasses more than just the dynamics between husbands and wives.  I work with same sex couples, couples that live together and are not married and also with single parents - what I find, is that the issues are the same.  The same dysfunction occurs and in turn the same beauty.  My aim will be to talk to all families without making too many generalizations. Please don't take my word as gospel truth, seek confirmation on your own.  Search, ponder and pray about your own relationships and your own connections.

This will not be an easy for some.  If you are struggling, it is likely that you will be upset with me at some point.  I want to say right now that it will never be my intent to make you sad or mad and if you do find yourself in that place, please step back and look deeper.  If I strike a cord there might be a reason. Also, if I say something that just doesn't resonate with you, skip that part and come back next time.

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How to Clean Your Home When You Have Little's

home keeping Dec 24, 2023

When my kids were little, cleaning needed to happen but it couldn't take all day. I thought I would share a bit on how I survived then.

Declutter.

Be simple.

So easy to say yet I know it isn't always easy to do. When my oldest was 5, we moved from a 2000 square foot house in Utah, to a 4000 square foot house in Idaho. Space doesn't help a ton, decluttering does! You still have to find a home for the stuff. Sure, that was a great house, I had a craft/sewing room, we had a guest room, a giant master... it didn't last. It was too much for me to handle, I felt like I was living too spread out and I didn't care to buy more furniture to fix it. Then we moved to a 1200 square foot 1900's house. I LOVED that house! That is the house that I remember doing the most cleaning - the most growing in. I spent some time in that house single after my divorce, before moving into a 600 square foot apartment. 

How do you do it? 

Be simple.

PLAN.  I know that is my answer to everything. I...

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Boundaries in Relationships

parenting partnering Dec 10, 2023

Boundaries are funny things.
We are constantly worrying about them.
Boundaries with our kids.
Boundaries with our parents
Boundaries with our in-laws.
Boundaries with neighbors. 
Boundaries are everywhere.  

I tend to spend a great deal of time talking about boundaries with the families we work with. Many of us live lives much different than the rest of our families and even some of our friends. We end up needing boundaries in order to keep our children on the path we have selected - it isn't always easy and we have to constantly evaluate if we can give in to that one episode of Sponge Bob at Grandma's or that candy bar with Uncle Joe or that video game with cousin Timmy. How do you stand up without being a beastie?

Sometimes boundary issues hit much closer. A few years back, I worked with a mom that was in a marriage that wasn't happy. She worried that she was past the point of no return. Her husband continually crossed boundaries and was verbally abusive. While this is...

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Temperament Parenting

temperaments Nov 26, 2023

We explore temperament in our Thinking Feeling Willing.

I am often asked “how do I reach my child?” Many parents are looking for a magic bullet that will help them to better communicate with their child.  Often that magic bullet is YOU. When we take the time to study temperament for ourselves as well as our children, then we can really work to understand what our parenting gifts and weaknesses are.

First, I recommend you work to understand temperament as a whole.

PHLEGMATIC
When examining our own temperament, we can see where we need to balance. If we are phlegmatic and are working hard to cultivate our will then we might be struggling with getting moving each day. It might be hard to get up from that computer or put that book down. Going for a walk might be a huge struggle for us each morning. Holding a boundary we have set might be hard if we are being badgered by a choleric or sanguine child or teen. We have to work to build up that will of ours. The will of...

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Ordering of Homeschool Days is All About Rhythm

homeschooling Nov 12, 2023

What do we do on days taken off from school, how is the flow, what holds it together?
I think this has so much to do with rhythm.  

On days off, I still hold a rhythm. The only day that looks really different in my house is Sunday... and perhaps big holidays like Christmas when the people here try to beat me in getting up.  Everyday - at least the ones I intend to enjoy - keep a rhythm. It may be more relaxed, but even days off from school have me up early and preparing for the day.  On our day off from school, we still rise and keep regular meal times, we study scriptures together, we sing, we keep a flow.  If it is a day off, then after those morning rituals are complete, we will carry on with our celebration. Sunday has a different flow marked by us preparing Saturday.  There is a sweet song that we sing with the words:

 "Saturday is a special day. It's the day we get ready for Sunday: We clean the house, and we shop at the store,  so we don't...
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One Month to a Better Rhythm

rhythm Nov 05, 2023

Rhythm is more than just thinking about what you want to happen each day, it has underpinnings of the parents will development, cycles of the year and child development – all wrapped up in one.  To have a life that flows (for the most mart) and doesn’t feel chaotic or stressful, it takes us getting control what we can and knowing when to settle down and let the rest go.

Step One – evaluate how you want your life to FEEL. This step can’t be underestimated!  You have been walking through feeling chaos for some time, it can be an addicting way to live, going from one drama or crisis to the next.  Take the time to really examine how you feel and thinking about how you want your life to feel. This should take one-two days.  Take the time to write this out, sleep on it and then review what you have written.

Step Two – commit to doing what ever you have to.  How important is this thing called rhythm? How important is it to you to...

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Coping with Time Change

sleep Oct 29, 2023

It doesn't really matter if you are falling back or springing forward, most of us have some sort of upset when the clocks change. If you are lucky enough to not have to change your time then carry on! The rest of us tend to suffer from something akin to jet lag.

If you didn't already have a rhythm in place, then give yourself a good week or two to adjust and then begin. Start with our posts here on rhythm, or come and join our Thinking Feeling Willing program for a good in depth study and successful management of your rhythm. 

Now if you have been coasting along and you have been keeping a pretty good rhythm, don't let the time change throw you off completely. Some things that really help me:

    • Be kind to me!  I know that I will lose sleep no matter if I am springing forward or falling back so I really try to be kind to myself on the time change weekends. That means I make sure all my regular rhythmic things are in place - good bedtimes, menu for our meals, everyone's...
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How to Find Balance in Waldorf Homeschooling

planning Oct 22, 2023

I love THIS article. Of course it is by one of my favorite Waldorf authors, Roberto Trostli. He speaks throughout the article about balance, he also speaks tenderly about something we all worry about as Waldorf teachers... TIME.  Steiner suggested his teachers teach for two hours a day and have the rest of the time for preparation - of course that doesn't happen, even in the schools, but we can expect to put in 2+ hours for a lesson that may only last for 30-60 minutes. Sounds like a TON - it is.  How do we make this manageable?

Trostli says:
"The amount of time we need for preparation depends on how we go about preparing. If we think of preparation as a process of gathering information, we will probably spend a great deal of time trying to become well-informed, and we will probably never feel sufficiently prepared. If, however, we think of preparation as a process of becoming, a learning process that engenders interest and enthusiasm for what we will be teaching, we may...

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Simple vs. Easy

inner work Oct 08, 2023

A while back, I was having a moment with one of my sons where I had to really step up my message about something. He was struggling with a moral issue and Erik and I as his parents had to lay down some expectations. The thoughts came flooding to me...this is a simple task, but it isn't always going to be easy, he has society hurling things at him all the time, how will he navigate these teen years?  For our personal lives, we live very Gospel centered, meaning that commandment of "Love God & Love your neighbor" is at the center of our lives. Such a simple commandment, but not always easy on the follow through.  Things happen, we get off center, we aren't always impeccable with our word, but it is our daily striving.  It isn't always easy to heed that commandment... sometimes that neighbor isn't very nice and I find myself praying for them and for myself to be more tolerant and let their issues be between them and God.  Not always easy.

Homeschooling and...

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Overcoming Nervousness, If You Don't Think Your Nervous This is for You Too!

inner work Sep 24, 2023

I was thinking the other day about two of my favorite resources, The Waldorf Online Library  and The Rudolf Steiner Archives  - I love the audio place too and use them a lot, but there is something about printing out a lecture if I need to and then going after it with a pen and highlighting all the tidbits I need - that makes me a nerd and a waster of paper.  LOL. In all seriousness though, I think these resources are fabulous. I will often pull a lecture from the archive to read and then see if Rudolf Steiner audio has it as well.  I may read, then listen, then go back and read some more.  This is my favorite way to use these two resources.  The Waldorf Library is a bit different, while they have some things written by Steiner, what I really appreciate are the articles written by teachers of all grades, with topics ranging from grammar to circle time to astronomy for middle school!  These things help me be a better curriculum writer...

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